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The vault parents guide7/31/2023 ![]() ![]() A parent must love and support their children while guiding them to make good decisions and develop strong values.When parents mix parenting with coaching they often walk a fine line because the two jobs require a different eye. ![]() “Why would a parent take those “lessons” away from their child?”ĭisappointments happen in sports and in life and our job as parents and as coaches is to help kids to grow up strong enough and with the right armor to get through those times. His point was that most people would admit that they are who they are because of some disappointment or hardship along the way. I once heard John Leonard (just-retired Executive Director of the American Swim Coaches Association) talk about asking his swim parents what made them who they are. I know that this message is a tough one because every parent wants to shield their child from disappointment but it is one that will allow your swimmer to take ownership of his/her swimming and leave the disappointments at the pool each day. You just always respond with, “Great job”, “Too bad” or “I’m sorry”… but always follow that with: “What did your coach say?” Let the coach handle the, “what next?” Let them talk to your swimmer about what they could do differently next time and/or every day in practice. Trust me as a former swimmer and longtime coach, your swimmer is disappointed enough for the both you. Parents can be disappointed for their swimmer but should never be disappointed in their swimmer. “Too bad, what did your coach say for next time?” But the truth is, most parents go overboard and forget that when a bad swim happens, and it will happen, many times, all they need to do is say: They want to provide the shoulder when things don’t go well and the loudest applause when things do. “Love me and support me and my teammates – and that is it.”Īs a coach, I know that parents want the best for their swimmer. These kids were sending a message loud and clear:
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